The Indian Cricket Team That Should Be Touring…



The deserving team

The Team that should start playing in Champaner

Kachra:
R Ashwin has failed and Bhajji hasn’t been even picked for the tour. Kachra is a natural spinner with the hands he’s got and also he gets no-balls from the opposite team. Remember the last ball he faced…
Ghuran:
Edges have troubled the Indian batsmen a lot this Australian series. His talent is specially required for the tour because he hits the ball twice with the bat. So if he gets an edge at the first attempt, he can still hit the ball again for a run. Also he can predict the future, that might just come handy.
Goli:
The only way we can get Australian openers and the one-downs out is by disguising them with Goli’s action and bowling them out. By the time, Clarke realizes the ‘hmmmmm’ sound, atleast the score won’t look like 657/4.
Arjan:
He says the British fooled him last time by provoking him. But he wants to prove his critics wrong and put a good batting show. He says, “Unko pehenko kapda tak nai rakhenge, khaane ko roti nai milegi. Tum saala kangaroo log cricket main humse piche hi rahega.” 

Tipu:
Because who knows, this time Issar Kaka might require a runner.

Deva:
The team needs aggression this man has. “Agar gola pheku toh dandiyo ke tukde kar du aur agar ballebaji karu toh gend ko chir ke rakh du.” I think this might be enough to scare the Aussies who watch and support cricket. Then we’d have only Indians coming to see the match and our players will play like we do in sub-continents. “Itna ground main aawaz toh sirf India main hi aa sakta hain”

Bhura:
We shall not miss out the catches at the slips. No offence Dravid, but it’s time someone new fields at the slip cordon.
Ismail:
What we are lacking at the Australian tour is someone else also who can bat.
Issarkaka:
With the amount of injuries in the team has during tours despite having a physio, a player who is a doctor himself would really be fruitful. Heal self, heal others.
Lakha:
Lakha is also a fan of the golden ducks like Sehwag is. The advantage he has over Sehwag is better fielding.

Bagha:
He has been taken in replacement of Bhajji & Sreesanth. Bagha just cannot speak, so no problem of match fine or sledging.

Bhuvan:
He would be the captain who knows to bat unlike Dhoni. Also, he thinks that cricket has originated in India. We just called it ‘Gilli-Danda’. So, the natural confidence of winning a game his ancestors have been playing is positive.
Bhuvan was equally keen on his side for playing the series for two specific reasons:
  1. He says, “Considering the damage already done even if we manage to win one test, keval champaner ka hi nai par pure desh ka lagaan maaf karva denge”
  2. There are good chances someone looking like Elizabeth may fall in love with his batting again. This time no Gauri would stop him from having fun.

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